Farhan Akhtar tend to repeat his jokes like his father:

Farhan Akhtar, 39, was a vagabond at the age of 17, with his parents and sister worried about what he would do in his life. But today, the multifaceted writer, singer, actor and director has made not just his family, but the country proud of him.

Looking at his family, it is difficult to say who is more talented, but Farhan has clearly pushed the envelope by playing the role of the sports icon Milkha Singh in his upcoming film Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. Over an hour-long conversation in his beautiful home, he speaks to TOI about his fiercely honest sister Zoya, his sensitive mother and what he learnt from his father. Excerpts:

What did you find most attractive about Milkha Singh's life?
His positive attitude and the way he approaches his life. When we met in Mumbai, he was dressed in his track pants and running shoes and said to me, 'Chalo daud ke baatein karte hain.' We did a 400m jog together at Priyadarshini Park, as that was the only proper 400m track available for training. It felt lovely meeting him in that environment. The most attractive thing about him is the fact that he rose out of nowhere and put himself through the grind to break the world record as he had decided that he wanted to. And that kind of surrender to your goal without having an ego, is very inspiring.

It's rare as a director to be cast in another director's film. Were you able to switch off the director in you while acting?
No, eventually it's the same person, but the thing is there is a protocol about who is the director and that's clear in my head. As an actor, you buy into someone else's dream and make it your own and you don't lose sight of that. Rakeysh's (Omprakash Mehra) temperament is phenomenal, in the sense that he is laidback in a good way and allows things to happen the way they should and takes his time to make a film. He is extremely trusting of his cast and crew and sits and watches and reacts only when required. I am a lot more aggressive than him as a director and constantly want things to keep moving and need to be involved in everything that is going on. I basically like a bit more control. Even in my personal life, I need things to be done on time. If it's not done, I get impatient.

Zoya is just a year-and-a-half older to you. How were you as siblings?
I had this constant urge to make up stories for fun, which as a child is considered lying, mainly to my mother. I was a really serious storyteller and the only person who could catch my fake stories was Zoya. She would tell my mom that he is totally lying. Due to our proximity in age, we had the normal brother-sister fights till we were in our early 20s, when we settled down to a loving non-fighting relationship. She is an extremely important person in my life.

What is Zoya like?
She is and has always been an amazingly honest person. I have never known her to lie about anything to the point where, even if she has to tell you brutally honest stuff about you, she will, and will show you the mirror, not worried that you could hold it against her. That is why I respect her hugely and it has helped me maintain a certain perspective about things. I take advice from her. She has friendships that have lasted 25-30 years, that says a lot about her. She cares about her family and friends and is really straight. I am more diplomatic than her and am happy to keep my opinions to myself. While she will tell you honestly, I would land up saying, 'I don't know.' That's the difference between us.

Who is brighter among the both of you?
We have an ongoing Scrabble war that sometimes she wins, and, sometimes I win. She is brighter when it comes to life's experiences. She grew up earlier than I, would shelter me from everything that went on with life. Also being a girl, she inadvertently was closer to sharing my mum's life and her experiences. She knew a lot more than I did. She is a more voracious reader than I am and is overall more grown-up. She finds me brave about trying things and feels that if I have decided I want to do something, I will do it regardless of what anyone else feels. She may not be able to do that. Fortunately, most of my ambitions have been legal, so it's not a bad thing and I don't mind putting myself through the grind to do it. Difficulty does not deter me. In fact, I find challenges exciting. If you think about it, a semi-final match is always more exciting than a final, as wanting to know who will make it to the final is far more exciting than who will finally win.

Were you insecure in your childhood about things you felt you would not be able to do?
Genuinely, for a long time, I was confused about what exactly I wanted to do. I knew it would be related to films, as that was too exciting for me. When I was 17, my father, mother and sister were really concerned about what would happen to me and that weight was there on me somewhere. I would love being out of the house and the only time I was in, was to watch movies and TV. I was drifting too much and was not attending college either. I was a complete vagabond till the age of 20, when I got my first job as an assistant director with Pankaj Parashar. My mother had a lot of work and had a house and two kids to manage. That period was really tough for her with regards to me.

What is your father, Javed Akhtar sahab's role in your life?
He is the most solid support beams I have in my life. If he writes a song and even if everyone says it's fantastic, he won't leave it till he can improve it. He won't put a full stop just because it has already been approved. I admire that kind of drive to try and do the best that you possibly can, till the end. Like him, I enjoy attention and tend to repeat my jokes.

What is your mother Honey Irani like?
My mom is, by far, the most sensitive person I know, who is very sensitive to other people's feelings. I am not kidding, but genuinely, I see that in my wife Adhuna too. She too is extremely sensitive to what the other person is feeling to the extent of discomforting herself. They are both extremely giving people. I respect the freedom my mother gave Zoya and me, allowing us to have our own experiences and learning from life.

Are you emotionally vulnerable?
I find being taken for granted irksome. The other thing is people don't give you enough space for allowing you to be individually the way you are, which is something I just don't like. It's almost as if you don't conform to a certain way of being, you are a snob or you don't care'. To me, being a non-conformist is okay as I am like that. I love my privacy and would love to spend my time off with my kids and Adhuna or my close friends. To me, going to a social occasion, as it's a must-do thing, does not fit into my scheme of things.

What attracted you to your wife Adhuna?
She is amazingly beautiful, sensitive, loving and a happy person and I like the fact that she is independent. She has come from England and has set up her business here with her brother. She is passionate about her work and is so driven by what she likes to do. I think what attracts her to me is that she knows that I am just there for her and am dependable. I know that I make her laugh a lot and she finds me funny. I have the capacity to, at times, let analysis not take over my emotion. I am, at times, selfish towards things I want to do. I am driven and single-minded about things I want to do.

Between your parents, who are you more dependent on?
Emotionally, my mom. I really stressed her out when I was young and, thus, it's extremely important for me that she is proud of me today.

Which was your lowest period professionally?
When Lakshya did not do as well I felt really low, but it also taught me the value of moving on and the fact that you have to learn to get yourself out of things.

Which of your films has Javed sahab really liked?
He told me one thing his father had told him and that has always stayed with me — Your life is like the life of an acorn, who falls out of a great oak. The only way you can bloom into a great oak is if you don't live under its shadow. So, the acorn should fall so far away that it can bloom into an oak tree itself. He really liked Dil Chahta Hai, as it took him completely by surprise. And now, he cried after seeing Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, as I know it resonated with him.